


Four Doctors and a Pirate Princess

by badndngirl



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Happy Ending, Pregnancy, Renaissance Faires, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 04:00:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5853283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badndngirl/pseuds/badndngirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an AU where Mark and Lexie survived the plane crash, and Callie and Arizona are still happily married, they all take their daughter Sofia to a Renaissance faire. Lexie has some news for Mark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Doctors and a Pirate Princess

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write some no stress, fluff for these characters where they get to be happy and nothing bad happens to them for once.

Things were happening in the Sloan/Robbins/Torres family.

It began with Mark Sloan sitting in a stiff-backed chair, while a skilled, yet unsympathetic, surgeon jabbed at his eyeballs.

“Hey, be careful with that!” he protested. “I’m not even under any anesthesia here.”

“Oh for god’s sake Mark, it’s just eyeliner,” said Lexie, as she applied the finishing touches to her husband’s costume. “Women literally do this every day.”

“Since when do pirates wear eyeliner anyway?”

“Since Johnny Depp.” She stepped back to admire her handy work. “There. I’m done.”

Mark stood and faced the mirror. He tugged at the gold clip-on earring hanging off of one ear half-heartedly. “How did I get roped into this? I look like a tool.” 

“You got roped into this because Sofia has her daddy wrapped around her little finger. Besides, I actually think you look kind of hot.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, the leather pants, the open shirt, the eyeliner. It’s all kind of working for me.”

He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her ear. “Well maybe when we get back home you’ll let me shiver your timbers.”

Lexie laughed.

“Jolly your roger?”

“Mark.”

“Swab your poop deck?”

Lexie made a face and pushed him away. “Okay.”

“Too far?”

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” Sofia came bursting into the room with the kind of energy possessed only by young children and small dogs. 

“Mija!” Mark relinquished his hold on his wife so his daughter could jump into his arms. At six years old, he was keenly aware that she was getting almost too big to catch. But she was his little girl, and he planned to keep doing it for as long as it was physically possible.

“Are you ready to go to the Renaissance Festival?”

“Are you kidding? I was born ready.” He set her down and began to speak in his best pirate snarl. “The Scurvy Captain Sloan be at your service, milady.” 

“No, you can’t be the captain. I wanna be the captain. Arrr!” Sofia, who had quite the pirate snarl herself, raised a sword over her head and jabbed it at him.

“Wait. I thought you said you wanted to be a princess?”

“Pirate princess,” said Callie, appearing in the doorway. “Hence the sparkly dress *and* the sword.”

Mark looked Callie up and down. She was wearing something that looked kind of like a leather swimsuit, with a skirt. “And what are you supposed to be?”

“I’m Xena! Warrior princess. See?” She held up a chakram. “I’ve got the Frisbee thingy. Now come on, you scurvy dogs, we’re gonna be late. Arizona’s already in the car.”

“I’ll be right there, I just have to pee real quick,” said Lexie, giving Mark a quick kiss before darting off to the bathroom.

“Alright, here we go. You wanna sing our pirate song?” asked Mark, carrying Sofia down the hallway. “Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me…”

***

After a few hours of Festival shopping, magic acts, jugglers, and getting glitter-bombed during a walk in “The Faerie Glen,” Lexie was happy to sit on a bench and watch Sofia play in the kids zone. The royal pirate princess was inside a bounce house when Arizona sat down with an “oomph” next to her.

“You okay?” asked Lexie.

“Yeah, just gotta rest my leg,” said Arizona, rubbing her left thigh.

Lexie sighed. “It never gets easier, does it.”

“The prosthetic? I mean, it’s a lot easier than it was at first. But we’ve been walking around all day…”

“No, not that. Just. You know. Life. As soon as you think you have everything figured out it throws something else at you.”

“Hey,” said Arizona gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?” They had grown close after the plane crash – they all had – and that closeness had only deepened after Lexie and Mark’s marriage made them basically sisters-in-law.

Lexie shook her head. “I’m okay. Actually I think I’m just really hungry. I had breakfast and everything this morning but now all of the sudden it’s like I’m starving.”

Arizona pulled a granola bar out of her purse and handed it to her. “Here. Since I became a mom I always carry snacks.” She pulled one out for herself and started to unwrap it. “Actually, I started doing it when Callie was pregnant. She would get these incredible hunger pangs that would come on really suddenly and almost make her sick.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” said Lexie. “It’s like I’m fine one minute and the next I’m so hungry I can’t even think. It must be how zombies feel about brains.”

Arizona laughed. “Maybe you’re pregnant.”

Lexie stopped chewing and looked at her. Arizona’s eyes widened. “Oh my god Lexie, are you actually pregnant?” she asked excitedly. “Since when?”

“I just found out this morning, right before we left the house. I knew I was late, but I just thought it was stress from working long hours at the hospital. But then I took the test and boom. Baby.”

“Does Mark know?”

“No, not yet.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Kind of scared.”

“Scared… because you don’t want to have a baby?” 

“No, it’s not that. I’m scared because I do want to have a baby. But… Arizona, you know how our lives are like a lightning rod for misery? What if something happens to me, or to Mark, or god, worst of all, the baby? I don’t know if I can handle it.”

“Lexie,” Arizona said sympathetically. “You can’t stop living your life just because you almost died. Believe me, I’ve wanted to. But we can’t do that. We have to keep moving forward.”

A few tears slipped out of Lexie’s eyes. She wiped them away quickly. “I know.” 

“Let me ask you this,” said Arizona. “If you didn’t feel like your life was a magnet for catastrophe, how would you feel?”

For the first time during their conversation, Lexie smiled. “I would be excited, I think. But I also didn’t used to think I wanted to be a mother, you know? When Sofia was born I wasn’t ready to be a mother. A fun aunt, maybe, but not a mom.”

“I remember.”

“But that was over six years ago. I’m older now, Mark and I are married, the five of us have kind of an unusual blended family situation…”

“That’s a gentle way of putting it.”

“But I like it. I love it, actually. I can’t imagine any other people I’d want to raise a child with.”

Now it was Arizona’s turn to tear up a little. “Aww!” she said, fanning her face.

“Do you think Sofia’s ready to have a sibling?” 

“She’ll love it. She’ll absolutely love it. Oh my god, I’m so excited!” Arizona gave Lexie a hug. 

“It’s so weird that you know before Mark,” said Lexie.

“You know what you should do? You should surprise him. I love surprise pregnancy announcements.”

“How would I do that?”

“Any kind of way. Tell him you got him a present, and let him unwrap some baby clothes. We could get Sofia a “Big Sister” shirt and have her wearing it when he picks her up from day care one day. We could ask him to cook dinner and leave a bun in  
the oven. There’s lots of ways to do it.”

“Lots of ways to do what?” asked Callie. She and Mark had gone to get lunch, and they were back with turkey legs and sandwiches. 

“Uh, inguinal hernia repair,” said Arizona, spitting out the first surgery she could think of. “You know, because you can do it laparoscopically or you could just do the standard, open method. You know, depending on the severity of the hernia and how invasive you want to be. Lots of ways to do it. Anyway, what have you two scamps been up to? You didn’t get into any trouble getting those turkey legs did you?” 

Callie cocked an eyebrow and regarded her wife with a mixture of amusement and confusion. “Um. No?” said Callie, handing Arizona a turkey leg. “Although I did find out that they have some really nice corsets for sale here,” she said with a wink. “If you want to make it up to me for wearing this Xena costume for you, that is.” 

“Wait, you’re wearing that thing *for* Arizona?" asked Mark. "Is this like a sex thing?”

“It’s not a sex thing,” said Arizona. “We’re not having sex at the Renaissance Festival.”

“We’re having sex later though, right?” Callie mumbled quietly.

“Oh hell yeah,” Arizona mumbled back.

Just then their conversation was interrupted by the sound of a trumpet and a short royal procession.

They turned to watch the short parade. There were some pipers, some banner wavers, and even a horse drawn cart carrying the queen of the Renaissance Festival. 

“How nerdy you have to be to be the king nerd,” muttered Callie.

“Said the woman in the Warrior Princess costume,” said Mark.

“I would just like to point out that Xena: Warrior Princess was really important to all of us who were lesbians in the 90s,” said Arizona. “Which, I realize, in this group, is only me, but I am not alone in my feelings about Xena, okay?” 

“Oh my god,” said Lexie. 

“Hey, don’t judge me, Lexie. There were very few lesbians on TV when I was…”

“No, not that. Look!” She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted. “Bailey!”

The queen’s head whipped around and they all saw Dr. Miranda Bailey, Seattle Grace Mercy West’s finest general surgeon, and apparently, the queen of the Washington Midsummer Renaissance Festival. The look in her eyes went from potential embarrassment to pleasant surprise when she saw Mark and Callie were in costume. She waved at them.

“Come back your Highness!” called Callie, waving back. “We wanna talk to you!”

Bailey turned around in her seat and called back as her carriage pulled away. “Meet me back at the royal lodge in twenty minutes. I’m making my royal rounds.” 

Arizona and Callie went to get Sofia out of the bounce house while Mark and Lexie quickly finished their sandwiches. 

“I had no idea Bailey was such a nerd,” said Lexie. 

“Ha!” said Mark. “You’ve never heard her talk about Star Wars. Come on, let’s find this royal lodge. Dare you to call Bailey a nerd to her face.”

“Not on your life.” 

*****

By the time Bailey made it back to the lodge, her loyal subjects – that is, her colleagues – were waiting for her.

“My liege,” said Mark, dipping into a deep bow.

“You jackass,” she said, hitting him on the shoulder.

He laughed and stood. “Queen?” he asked. “How’d you land that gig? People just put you in charge wherever you go?”

“When they know what’s good for them they do,” she said. “Nah, I’ve been coming to the Renaissance Festival here since I was an intern. Why do think I take off the same time every year?”

“Is Tuck here?” asked Sofia. 

“No sweetie, Tuck’s with his father this weekend. To be honest with you, he’s not really into this kind of stuff, like you and me. He’s more into video games where you blow somebody’s head off.”

“I like cutting people’s heads off! With my sword!” Sofia said, swinging her sword through the air. 

Bailey laughed. “I bet you do. You know they have a sword fighting lesson thing for kids here,” she said, turning her attention to all of Sofia’s parents. “Over by the human chessboard? They’ve got an instructor and some padded swords.” 

“Yeah?” asked Sofia, obviously excited.

“That sounds like a great idea!” said Lexie. “Hey Mark, why don’t you take Sofia over for some sword fighting lessons?”

“Sure. Anybody want to come with?” He looked at Lexie but Arizona spoke quickly.

“Callie, you should go too.”

“Okay?” Callie said.

“It’ll give me a chance to do some corset shopping,” Arizona said.

“Okay!” Callie said, more excited this time. “Come on Sofia, let’s go sword fight.”

Sofia took her mom’s hand and held her sword in the air. “Death to tyrants!” 

“Who are you, John Wilkes Booth?” Mark asked. 

“We gotta get you a new battle cry, sweetheart,” she said as the three of them walked away.

“If you want to do come corset shopping, I definitely have some vendors I can recommend,” Bailey said.

“Actually, I think we were just getting rid of Mark for a while,” said Arizona. “I figured I’d send Callie with him, since they’re BFFs and she might spill the beans.”

“What beans?” asked Bailey.

Lexie hesitated for a moment, then decided there was no point in hiding it. She put her hands on her stomach and looked knowingly at Bailey. Bailey smiled.

“You’re pregnant?”

Lexie nodded.

“Congratulations!” Bailey gave her a hug. “Judging by the getting-rid-of-Mark, he doesn’t know yet, huh?”

“Not yet,” Arizona said. “We’re thinking it might be fun to surprise him.”

“I don’t know, do we really?” asked Lexie. “This is the man who thinks surprise parties are ‘aggressive.’”

“Yeah, well, he’s right about that. I don’t like surprise parties either,” said Arizona. “But this is a good surprise.” 

“Do you want to tell him today?” Bailey asked. “Because if you want to tell him today, here at the Renaissance Festival, I might have an idea.”

Arizona looked at Lexie. “Your call, mama.”

Lexie looked at Bailey and smiled. “What’s your idea?”

*****

Mark and Callie waited on the sidelines while Sofia got her sword fight lessons. They watched her face, furrowed in concentration, as she thrust, blocked and thrust again. 

“How did I get so lucky?” asked Callie.

“A lot of women have asked me that,” he said. She hit him.

“I’m serious, look at her. She’s strong, and she’s beautiful, and she knows who she is and what she likes, and she’s my daughter. Our daughter. Like. How on Earth did we get so lucky?”

“Beats me,” he said. Mark put his arm around her shoulders and they continued to watch Sofia play. “You know,” he began, “Sofia’s lucky too. To have us.”

Callie laughed. 

“I mean it. My parents barely tolerated each other, and they left me alone a lot. But Sofia’s parents are best friends, who each have awesome wives, who are also great parents. And even though they’re all doctors with busy schedules, with so many of us to go around – “

Callie laughed again. “Revolving parental units.”

“Maybe, but it means there’s always at least one of us who can be there for her. Any time she needs us.”

Callie looked at him and smiled. “Fatherhood has made you soft. And I mean that in a good way.”

“You’re only saying that because I’m wearing a Halloween costume in the middle of the summer.”

Just then two men, dressed all in black, walked up the chessboard. One of them was carrying something that looked like a portable stocks, two boards joined together with holes cut out for a head and two hands. 

“Excuse me,” one of the men said, projecting his voice so that all around the chessboard could hear. “Has anyone here seen a scurvy pirate by the name of Sloan?”

Callie’s eyes lit up. She wasn’t sure what kind of mischief was about to happen but she was already excited about it. “Here he is!,” she said, pointing at Mark. “Here, he’s right here.

“You’re under arrest, Sloan,” the man said, as he and his companion approached Mark and Callie. “We recommend you come quietly.” They opened the stocks and helped Mark into them.

Mark was cooperative, but he looked at Callie incredulously. “Did you do this?” 

Callie was giggling as she shook her head. “Not me. Bailey maybe? Arizona? I don’t know, but this is hilarious.”

Sofia ran in front of the jailers and brandished her sword. “You let my Daddy go!” She started hacking at their legs with her sword and Callie lurched forward into the melee to stop her. “No no no sweetie, stop it! Let the nice men take your father to jail.” She looked at Mark and winked. “Never thought I’d hear myself say that.”

Mark shuffled away with his jailers. Sofia called after him. “I’ll save you Daddy!”

“I’m counting on you, mija,” he said as he was led away. “If you can’t save me, avenge me!”

*****

The jail cell was big enough for about five people, if they squeezed in close, though at the moment he was alone. He made conversation with the guards while he waited for Callie and Sofia to show up.

“Did Callie put you up to this?” he asked.

One of the men, a short guy with a long beard, shook his head and spoke with a thick Scottish brogue. “I don’t know who this “Callie” is, ya bilge-sucking seadog, but my orders come from the queen herself.”

Mark smiled wryly and shook his head. “Bailey. Of course. Hey, I love your commitment to your character, by the way.”

“Thanks, man,” the man replied, his Scottish accent suddenly replaced with an American one. “I look forward to this every year. I just have fun with it.”

“Yeah, why not?”

“Well we gotta go, we’ve got more people to arrest.” His jailers proceeded to walk away, leaving him behind bars.

“Hey! Aren’t you going to let me out of here?”

“You’re in jail, ya old scallywag,” he replied, Scottish brogue back in place. “I should think a scoundrel like you would be familiar with what that means.”

“I take back what I said!” Mark called out after them. “You should be less committed!”

Callie and Sofia arrived shortly after. Callie’s eyes were shining, as if she was having the best day of her life.

“Oh my god, Mark, wait until you hear what you have to do to get out of jail,” Callie said. “This festival is amazing. We have to come back next year.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You have to fight your way out!” Sofia said.

“What?”

“You have to sword fight!" Callie said. "The padded swords, like Sofia was using for her lessons. At the top of the hour, which is… in about ten minutes, you get the chance to either win your freedom by fighting, or you can surrender and throw yourself on the mercy of the court. But get this: if you surrender, you get out of jail, and if you win a fight you get out of jail, but if you fight and lose you have to go back to jail until the top of the next hour, when it starts all over again.”

“Oh, okay. Great. I’ll just surrender and it’ll be over with.”

“Yeah…” Callie said slowly, gesturing toward Sofia, “Or, it would be a lot more fun if you fought.”

“Yeah, Daddy! Sloans never surrender!”

Mark knelt down so that he was eye level with his daughter. “Can’t I just pretend surrender? I mean, this is a pretend jail. We are pretend pirates. Can’t I just pretend surrender so that I can come watch your sword fight lessons some more?”

Sofia was noticeably disappointed, but she covered it quickly. “Okay Daddy,” she said. “I know it’s pretend. I just like pretending that it’s real.”

Mark looked at her face and sighed. He looked back at Callie, who raised an eyebrow expectantly. Just then his jailers returned, and he knew what he had to do.

“Well, rapscallion,” said the faux Scot, “will ye fight for your freedom? Or will ye surrender yourself to the mercy of your benevolent Queen?” 

Mark squared up his shoulders and spoke with in his pirate voice. “I’ll be fighting. Sloans never surrender.”

“Yay Daddy!” Sofia squealed and jumped in the air. Mark flinched as her piercing shrieks hit his ear drums and Callie smiled. “I knew you had it in you, Sloan.”

“Eh, it’s fine,” he said, dismissively. “I’ll win the stupid little sword fight and then we’ll go track down Lexie and Arizona.”

Mark’s confidence in the ring lasted for about thirty seconds. Though their swords were made out of plastic and foam, Mark’s opponent seemed to determine to prove that they could still hurt you if you got hit hard enough. His first battle was over in no time. The second one lasted a little longer, but after the third even Sofia had begun to take pity on him. 

“You can surrender next time, Daddy,” she said, patting him on the shoulder through the bars of the jail cell. “It’s just pretend, anyway.” 

“For real Mark, just surrender. You’re totally father of the year, now let’s move on with our lives,” Callie said. 

He was still searching for a response in language safe for Sofia’s ears when Bailey showed up. “Mark?" she said. "What the hell are you still doing in jail?”

“What am I…? You put me in here!”

“Yeah I but I thought you’d have surrendered an hour ago, at the latest. We’ve been looking for you. Come on. We’re going to the banquet hall.”

“Great. Awesome. As long as nobody hits me with anything,” he said, wincing as he stood.

The banquet hall was a welcome change from the mock jail cell. The food smelled delicious, the air was filled with music, and Bailey had arranged for them to sit with her at the head table, so rather than battling the crowds over a place at a bench, Mark got to sit in a comfortable chair next to his wife, who he had missed all afternoon. Arizona insisted Sofia sit between her and Callie and tell her all about her day, giving Mark and Lexie some time to talk. “Thank god you’re here,” he said, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips. “You won’t believe what I’ve been through today.”

“I heard you got your ass kicked by some nerd.”

“Okay, first of all, that guy was clearly working out some aggression.”

Lexie laughed. “Honestly, it’s worth it. Sofia’s gonna remember the day her dad dressed like a pirate and lost a million sword fights for the rest of her life.”

He shrugged. “I hope so. I hope that she remembers it when she’s a teenager and she hates me. And that maybe she’ll think, ‘Well, my dad might be a dick, but at least I know he loves me.’”

“Why would she think you’re a dick?”

“I don’t know. But I know at some point in her life she’s gonna think I’m a dick. That’s normal.”

Lexie thought of her father, Thatcher Grey, and sighed. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“Right? So I want to put a lot of good memories in the bank so that we have something to draw on, when everything gets harder.”

Tears welled in Lexie’s eyes. Mark saw and grew concerned.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing! It’s nothing,” Lexie said, wiping her eyes. “You’re just a really good dad, that’s all.”

He put his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder.

“Do… you ever think about having any more kids?” she asked.

Mark sighed. The last time they had talked about having kids was when Sofia was born, and it hadn’t gone well. “I don’t want you to worry about that, Lexie,” he said, resting his head against hers.

“What do you mean?”

“Just that I’m so grateful for the family that I have. You, my daughter, her mothers. It’s more than I could have ever hoped for. It’s perfect.”

“So you wouldn’t want any more kids? Ever?” 

“Okay, I admit, in an abstract, daydreamy sort of way, I’ve thought about Sofia having a baby brother or a sister. But in reality? I want whatever makes you happy. Because you make me very happy.”

“Well… what if I told you that having a baby would make me happy?”

Mark sat up straight and looked at her. “Wait, what are you saying? Do you… do you want to start trying?”

“Not exactly.”

“Ladies and gentlemen!” Their conversation was interrupted by Bailey standing to her feet and addressing the crowd, who quieted quickly. Her authority was clearly respected here just as much as it was at the hospital. “I want to thank you all for joining us tonight. It’s a special occasion. Now, to some of us, myself included, any night at a Renaissance Festival is special, but tonight really has something extra going for it. This family sitting at my table, these friends of mine, just found that, in about nine months, they’ll be gaining a new member. And by just found out, I mean three of them are hearing about it for the first time right now, as I speak. So raise your glasses everybody, and let’s toast to new life. Let's toast to new love! And most of all, let's toast to new adventures.”

Shouts of “Cheers!” and “Here, here!” and at least one “Huzzah!” erupted from the crowd. The band started playing some Irish drinking song about beer and wailing babies. Mark didn’t hear any of it. He was staring at Lexie in astonishment. She put his hand on her stomach. “Congratulations, daddy.”

Mark started to laugh and cry at the same time. He leapt to his feet and swung her around. As he set her back down again, Sofia and Callie turned their embrace into a group hug. “Can you believe it, honey?” Callie called back to Arizona. She turned her head to look at her wife and saw Arizona smiling. 

“You knew?!”

“Just as of this morning. We thought it would be fun to surprise the two of you.”

“Oh my god, I’m so happy,” Callie said, squeezing Mark and Lexie even harder. “I’m so happy that Sofia is getting a baby brother or sister and that I didn’t have to get pregnant again to do it.”

Lexie laughed. Bailey tapped Sofia on the shoulder.

“Are you excited to be a big sister?” 

“Hell yeah! I’m gonna be the best big sister!”

“Sofia, watch your language,” Arizona said, knowing full well that her daughter had picked up the phrase from her. She stooped down to Sofia’s eye level. “But I think you’re right. You’re gonna be a great big sister.”

“I’m gonna be the best big sister, baby. I’m gonna teach you how to sword fight,” Sofia whispered at Lexie’s belly. 

Mark kissed his wife and picked up his daughter. He looked over at Callie, who was standing behind Arizona with her arms around her shoulders, and repeated her question from earlier in the afternoon.

“How did I get so lucky?” he asked.

“Well, we were due for some good luck,” Lexie said. 

“We all were,” said Arizona.

And just like that, once again, things were happening in the Sloan/Torres/Robbins family.


End file.
